Quiz reveals if your doubts about your partner are destructive (and dwelling on physical flaws is a red flag)
- OCD can manifest as obsessive thoughts as well as behaviours
- Some people suffer with form of Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
- People with ROCD have unwanted thoughts for no rational reason
- Quiz reveals 13 warning signs you could have the condition
It’s natural and even healthy for everyone to question their relationship from time to time, but what if those niggling doubts are taking over?
According to marriage and family psychotherapist Sheva Rajaee when worries about the suitability of your partner become all-consuming, it could mean you have Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
‘OCD isn’t just physical compulsive habits and rituals, it can also manifest in the form of obsessive thoughts, too, which is often what occurs for people with Relationship OCD,’ she told Cosmopolitan.
‘While it’s entirely normal to have some doubts about our partners, there are times when doubt can be destructive.’
Although the only way of finding out for sure if you’re affected is to speak to a professional, this quiz from the Intrusive Thoughts Project can reveal that you might have an issue, if you answer yes to all or most of these question.
If you are constantly questioning how you feel about your partner, you may have Relationship Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (stock image)
1. Do you test your level of attraction to your partner?
This could be checking your feelings to see if you’re more attracted to friends, celebrities, exes or even strangers.
2. Are you constantly dwelling over your partner’s physical imperfections?
This could be anything from fretting over whether their nose is too big to wanting them to be slimmer or more muscular
For example, thinking things like ‘Is his/her nose too big or eyebrows too thick/thin?’
3. Are you constantly picking at your partner’s personality?
What is ROCD?
Scientists say ROCD is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder – a condition that can bring unwanted thoughts or worries, and repetitive behaviors that are carried out to address those worries, usually to no avail.
With ROCD, obsessions usually fit into one of two categories: Questioning whether you love your partner, or questioning whether your partner loves you, said Steven Brodsky, a psychologist and clinical director who has treated patients with ROCD.
It’s normal to have some of these thoughts in relationships from time to time, but a person is considered to have a disorder if the thoughts impair everyday life, such as the ability to do his or her job.
People with ROCD have unwanted thoughts even when there is no rational reason to question the relationship (i.e., their partner really does love them).
Ultimately, these symptoms can lead to rocky relationships. ‘These relationships can often repeatedly break up and reunite multiple times a week’ or month, Brodsky said.
ROCD can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy if the symptoms end up pushing a partner away.
Do you worry about them being boring, shy or clever enough. Or question if you really share the same passions and sense of humour.
4. Do you avoid dating because no one seems good enough for you?
5. Are you unwilling to take the next step in
Maybe you find yourself holding back from progressing in the the relationship because you’re so focused on what’s missing.
6. Do you constantly feel uncertain about whether or not you are in the ‘right’ relationship
You might find yourself obsessing over there being someone ‘better’ out there for you.
7. Are you engaged in endless attempts to figure out just how in love you feel with your partner?
You might question why you don’t miss your partner more when you’re apart or ask if yourself if you feel truly connected when you’re together.
8. Do you seek reassurance by comparing your relationship to other relationships?
You might look at friends and think they’re much happier in their relationship or believe you’re not as content as your parents are.
9. Do you constantly need reassurance?
Are you seeking validation that you have made the ‘right’ choice in your partner?
10. Do you compare your current situation with past relationships?
You may find yourself dwelling on previous ‘fun and exciting’ partnerships, often unhealthy ones, to see if you feel the same way about your current partner.
11. Are you avoiding watching romantic movies or TV shows?
You might find that they bring up unwanted thoughts and anxiety related to your relationship.
12. Do you persistently look for answers on the internet and online forums?
Feeling like you need constant reassurance from online sources, as well as real people is another red flag.
13. Do you find sexual activity a chore?
A sign of ROCD is finding sex an unpleasant anxiety-filled experience because you can’t stop questioning how you really feel or focusing on your partner’s flaws.